Hiddleswift: 'Tom Hiddleston is a pillock! Unless this is a hoax… in which case fair play!' - Jamie East verdict

Virgin Radio

5 Jul 2016, 13:33

Jamie East has got a proper old bee in his bonnet about Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift.

Pictures emerged yesterday of the pair frollocking in the ocean with Hiddleston wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan ‘I Heart T.S’.

That led to widespread ridicule on social media, although a number of conspiracy theorists are convinced this is all an elaborate hoax and part of a music video for a new single from Swift.

And Jamie is either incandescent with rage… or full of admiration for the pair. It’s kind of hard to tell.

He said: “Hiddleswift – it that what we’re calling it? It sounds like a feathered beast from Harry Potter!

“They look like a 70-year-old couple! There’s not much sexual frisson going on in those images.

“I haven’t really got a problem with Taylor Swift, but Tom Hiddleston – what are you doing man? James Bond was literally in your grasp and you are now on a beach wearing an ill-fitting wet vest with ‘I Heart T.S’ on it, and a tattoo on your arm in lipstick.

“What are you doing? That’s stuff a 16-year-old would be ashamed to do. You look like a pillock, a wazzock, I’ve lost all respect for you. You stupid, stupid man!

“But… there is a theory I’d like you to consider that it’s a hoax and they’re filming something for a music video or a documentary, or it’s a piece of performance art.

“It’s the same paparazzi agency releasing the pictures, so they would have been tipped off. And it might explain why everything looks like a scene from a film.

“I’m hoping against all hopes that Tom Hiddleston has not just turned into a sappy little crybaby boy over Taylor Swift because, if so, it’s really tragic.

“But if this is a music video, then fair play to you.

"But I hope you told the Bond producers what you were doing?!”