Lewis Capaldi says he found his Netflix documentary "depressing"

Virgin Radio

16 Apr 2023, 19:42

How I'm Feeling Now was released on the platform last month.

Lewis Capaldi has reflected on the impact of his Tourette's syndrome and anxiety after watching his Netflix documentary How I'm Feeling Now, which chronicled the making of his second album.

Capaldi told The Independent, "I didn't realise how much my anxiety and Tourette's were taking over my life until I watched [Pearlman's footage] back." He described the first draft of the documentary as "depressing" and joked about a possible sequel where he "didn't die at the end."

In the film, directed by Joe Pearlman, Capaldi candidly shared his experience with panic attacks, stating, "When I have a panic attack, it feels like I'm going insane, completely disconnected from reality. I can't breathe. I can't feel my breath going in. I get dizzy. I feel like there's something happening to my head. I'm sweating."

He added, "My whole body starts to do what my shoulder does. Like pure convulsing. The big thing for me with it is, I'm always going to feel like this now, this is me. F***. This is it. Either I feel like I'm going to be stuck like that forever, or I'm going to die."

Capaldi first revealed his diagnosis of Tourette's syndrome in September 2022, explaining that he wanted to make it public "because I didn't want people to think I was taking cocaine or something."

He has since shared that making music and performing actually exacerbates his symptoms, saying, "It's only making music that does this to me, otherwise I can be fine for months at a time, so it's a weird situation."

He told The Times in a recent interview, "Right now, the trade-off is worth it, but if it gets to a point where I'm doing irreparable damage to myself, I'll quit."